A Shot from Wales: Liverpool FC.......the final word

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Liverpool FC.......the final word

It feels like yesterday….but it is almost 15 years ago when I was greeted by the Emir’s representative at Kuwait International Airport at the start of a week-long series of lectures that I had been invited to give to their Ministry of Sport.

As we approached passport control the Emir’s ‘senior assistant’ took me by the arm and counselled that during my stay in Kuwait he was available to arrange just about anything for me ….car, driver, sporting events, visits to sites of interest, meetings with ministers……in fact everything that I could possibly want could be organised at a few minutes notice.

But then his grip tightened……’do you have any alcohol in your bags…..let me know now and I will get rid of it before it is too late. You get caught and even I can’t help you’.

Luis Suarez stepped off the plane in England and was met by representatives of Liverpool FC for the first time……"don’t worry about our cultural differences Luis….you just ‘bang them in son’ and we will be very happy with you, even if you do call some of your mates and opponents 'negro’".

Liverpool you only have yourselves to blame…..

No comments:

Is it really sixty four years...

I've been following football in Aldershot for just over 64 years.....

And not much has changed in that time. We were in the basement of the Football League for year after year....we went bust....reformed and found a new level, below the basement.

We 'returned' and then 'failed again', but despite leaving the Football League behind, the faces are still the same, perhaps older but no wiser....the guttering above our heads, simply older but no better.

But the Recreation Ground is undoubtedly one of the most emotionally evocative of all football grounds.

- A Shot from Wales

Aldershot Town 0 v 5 Wrexham - Tues 9th Nov

I got back to north Devon after the humiliating defeat at the hands of Wrexham, in the early hours of Wednesday morning. It had been a very long day. We turned all of the horses out at 6am, much to their displeasure - mind you who in their right mind would want to be out and about high up in clouds on Exmoor, at this time of the year. Online meetings commenced early, followed by real meetings in Bristol, with the promised reward of a few pints in the Golden Lion, followed by Wrexham’s inevitable denouement later in the evening - my thoughts turning to Southend, and the floodlight failure from a few years ago. The 5v0 defeat was wholly the result of a display of ineptitude beyond comprehension. And I certainly won’t be reliving the experience by setting out any player ratings or performance assessment. Our club was an embarrassment on Tuesday night. From the Chairman and Board, down through the coaching staff to the players. They all failed. But the pathetic combined output did generate the feeling that we had reached rock bottom and things will get better, starting….. Then my brain restored some of its memory, and I was reminded of the impending Grimsby visit on Saturday, and I guess matches against every other club in our league.

It's time for a change

Many years ago when we had the great Jack Howarth at centre forward the team ran out to Happy Jack, The Who….I have a match worn shirt of Jack’s, in my view better than owning Geoff Hurst’s World Cup hattrick shirt - but now, and after a few financial meltdowns, we are introduced by Alive and Kicking, Simple Minds. Time to phone the Chairman and suggest that we need a new tune…. ''Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best And Always look on the bright side of life Always look on the light side of life''

Government Sleaze Row

Boris Johnson is under pressure after a minister admits ‘mistake’ in the handling of the sleaze row. Responding on Monday to the standards reform U-turn, Cabinet Office minister Steve Barclay said: “I’d like, first and foremost, to express my regret and that of my ministerial colleagues over the mistake made last week.’ Sorry BoJo, but a mistake is when you get up at 5 in the morning, go downstairs to make a cup of tea, and through bleary eyes you put soft brown sugar in your mug and not white granulated. At 11am when your brain has been fired up for 6 hours, selecting brown sugar for your tea would be considered…..simply a stupid plan….the taste will be terrible.

Stupidity across the world....

A couple of days ago a group of anti-vaccine protesters were walking down Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles, carrying picket signs and American flags. ‘Do you see all of these homeless people around’ the lead protester yelled through a bullhorn. “Are they dead in the streets with Covid?’ She shouted. ‘Hell no! Why.’ A man pushing his worldly goods down the street in a shopping cart, offered her the answer: ’Because I’m vaccinated, you dumb fucker.’ And here in the UK, it was reported this week that fewer than half of players at most Premier League and English Football League clubs have been vaccinated. Why might some players be so hesitant? I guess because, unless they have a defined medical reason, they are stupid.

A view from the North Stand

Of course, I have no detailed knowledge of the proposed developments at the Recreation Ground. Who does? Developments that we have been advised will lift our beloved club into orbit. Creating a club that will be in a position to compete with the money backed clubs of Wrexham and Notts County and Chesterfield and…. But our imposed information diet is no more than simply stories and opinions promoted through the official website and the fans message board. Suggestions abound that some guy has paid off the director’s loans, with a view to recovering his cash from a commercial development at the Rec. Added to which, many interested players have claimed, for more than a year, that the new hundred plus year lease, at a Peppercorn rent, was going to be signed ‘imminently’. Surcharging disappeared off the local government landscape some years ago…the late timing no doubt much to the regret of Lady Porter. But standards in public office are closely monitored, and I’m not too sure that paying off director loans from the disposal of a public asset would go down too well with every council tax payer in Rushmoor. And of course, any new lease granted to our club, based on a development proposal, would be just that – ‘an agreement for development and grant of lease’. The agreement to include – financial provisions, building documents, planning approvals, contracts, designs, collateral warranties, description of works etc etc….with the lease being completed on satisfactory practical completion. Wrexham are reportedly paying their new striker £5000 a week - stand outside of the Rec on Saturday, and look left and right, and then consider how a new, or upgraded Recreation Ground, is going to deliver a net return of £1m pa…the sum probably required to move our player budget to a level equal to the division’s top spenders.

Fixtures update

Operation Dynamo

Between 27 May and 4 June 1940, 338,226 Allied soldiers of the British Expeditionary Force were evacuated from the beaches and harbour of Dunkirk. In all, over 800 vessels, of all shapes and sizes, many of which were really too small to be leaving the safety of our inshore waters, brought our men home. The bravery of the many bringing into sharp focus Churchill’s strident commitment to get our boys home, ‘we can, and we will’. On 4 June Winston Churchill spoke in the House of Commons, ‘we must be very careful not to assign to this deliverance the attributes of a victory. Wars are not won by evacuations.’

The forgotten war

Politics watch 20-08-21

I really don’t understand why so many observers have raised comment about our Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs being on holiday in Crete, as the Taliban advanced towards Kabul. Afterall, why would anyone think that a call from Dominic Raab to the Afghan Foreign Minister, Mohammad Haneef Atmar, could in some way help to calm down the dramatically worsening situation. ‘Sorry Dom. Can’t talk. Just emptying the safe. The helicopter is outside. Catch up at Wimbledon next year.’ No, the surprising thing in all of this is, that behind Raab’s vacant appearance, his academic record suggests that he isn’t as dull as he acts. Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford followed by Jesus College, Cambridge, where he won the Clive Parry Prize for International Law. And in his early career he even successfully defended Tony Blair against a subpoena from Slobodan Milosevic – therefore, he must be more capable than I ever thought.

Back in time...

When I attended my first game in October 1960 one could feel the joyousness of the occasion ....the country was just about to set itself free from ‘proper austerity’, and not the pallid narrative that politicians have thrown around since 2008.

My dad, who took me to the game, was only 34...and no doubt still had vivid memories of his work with the night fighter patrols, who set off along the east coast of Scotland, before turning out into the North Sea, to offer protection to the Arctic Convoys. And my grandfather, who came with us to a few games, played in Frimley Green’s first season of competitive football, the year after returning from the trenches in December 1918....football to my family was then, and still is, more than simply the match.

Of course we all cheered when Aston Villa were put to the sword in 1964 - the first team outside of the top flight to deposit the Villa out of the cup....but I really didn’t have any negative feelings towards the team when we lost to the vibrant Swindon Town in round four.

The world of comment has spun out of control...it would be so nice if 2021 restored some of the values displayed when I first visited the Rec in October 1960. But somehow, I can’t see that dream being realised.

VAR

I really don’t understand why so much energy is being applied to Var. The last time I watched Match of the Day, Var only entered the conversation when David Coleman mentioned his summer holidays.

The move towards technology controlling our lives is perhaps more of a risk to the planet than climate change.

Most people are obsessed with their handsets and tablets ....films are now made through technology and not craft skills - writing, screenplay, set design and acting.

And my only memory of ‘that was a goal, no it wasn’t’ in 60 years of following the Shots was delivered through that memorable day in 1966....and it wasn’t at the Rec. Of course it was over the line....who cares unless you are German.

Football is a beautiful game....simply leave it alone FIFA, UEFA, FA....

Fixtures catch up

2nd Nov home to Maidenhead Utd a much needed 2v0 win

16th Nov away to Dagenham - absolutely stuffed 6v1 ...terrible

23rd Nov a 2v1 home win against improving Notts County was indeed a surprise

26th Nov a 2v2 draw at high flying Yeovil was probably less than the Shots deserved

3oth Nov Chesterfield away and another 2v2 draw

7th Dec saw the Shots lose 1v0 at table topping Barrow

14th Dec FA Trophy...a 5v1 thumping at Torquay was truly pathetic

21st Dec beating much improved Stockport at the Rec 2v1 was a great result

26th Dec...too much rain at Eastleigh PP

28th Dec saw the Shots draw at home to Barnet 0v0

and into the new year with a great 3v1 win over Eastleigh at the Rec

Fixtures catch up

21st September Aldershot Town 1 v 0 Wrexham

Two poor sides managed to stir the emotions in the second half. Wrexham were frightened of Mullings - big and fast (but they didn't seem to know he wasn't very good) - 'don't back off ', they had been told before the game. When he came on, with ten minutes to go....they backed off and we were on the front foot.

24th September Aldershot Town 1 v 3 Yeovil

Yeovil just bigger, stronger, faster....and considerably better.

28th September Chesterfield 2 v 1 Aldershot Town

Aldershot much better...but it's goals that win games. And after the third penalty miss of the season, defeat was inevitable.

5th October Chorley 0 v 0 Aldershot Town

Gosh....how bad do you have to be to get relegated....this bad.

That Was The Week That Was - 7/10/19

UK and EU negotiators will try again today, to make headway on Brexit, when Boris Johnson’s team go into diplomatic overdrive to try and force a compromise from Brussels on the British government’s proposals.

The UK’s chief Brexit official David Frost is due in Brussels, while Brexit minister Steve Barclay visits the Netherlands.

On Sunday, Emmanuel Macron told the UK prime minister by phone that the EU wanted to determine swiftly whether a deal was possible. The EU wants plenty of time to plan its approach ahead of a crucial European Council summit on October 17-18....no doubt Macron is worried about 'good old French demonstrations' on the streets of Paris in the lead up to Christmas.

If only the real David Frost was still with us....

Brexit - Lady Hale delivers the judgment

''We are not concerned with the prime minister's motive in doing what he did. We are concerned with whether there was a reason for him to do it. It will be apparent from the documents quoted earlier that no reason was given for closing down parliament for five weeks. Everything was focused on the need for a Queen's Speech and the reasons for holding that in the week beginning the 14th October rather than the previous week. But why did that need a prorogation of five weeks? The unchallenged evidence of Sir John Major is clear. The work on the Queen's Speech varies according to the size of the programme. But a typical time is four to six days''.

Sir John prorogued parliament in March 1997 for three weeks before it was formerly dissolved ahead of the election on 1st May....and of course this had absolutely nothing to do with the release of the cash-for-questions report due out on the following Monday.

Dave, I haven’t seen you for more than three years - despite looking for you when I spent a few days with my wife in Cornwall this summer.

And for quite a long time it was your torso that filled the daily papers during August - wet suit, body board - and not Aidan Turner’s ...what larks.

But just as the ‘Brexit soup’ comes to the boil, up you pop - The Times, Radio 4, BBC One.

Now I’ve been thinking; have you surfaced to help Boris get us out of the EU, or simply to promote your book launch? I think I have the answer...

But It has been reported that Her Majesty The Queen is displeased with your attempt to secure her support in the lead up to the Scotland independence referendum....I think the knighthood can be forgotten Dave.

No doubt your emotions will be stretched, as you forgo your holiday frolics on Polzeath Beach in north Cornwall - to be replaced, by the winter appeal of the Maldives...

Brexit - August 21st 2019

What a fuss is being made over the Northern Ireland border question, and the proposed 'backstop'.

In May 1921 Ireland was partitioned under British law by the Government of Ireland Act, leading to the eventual creation of Northern Ireland. And this all followed the Anglo - Irish guerilla war (1919-1921), as if we hadn't had enough of fighting.

The subsequent Anglo Irish Treaty and the creation of the Irish Free State only served to give us another hundred years of prejudice and aggression, death and destruction.

But all of this was 'put to bed' by the Good Friday (Belfast) Agreement...until now and the 'backstop'.

According to one side of the argument the removal of the 'backstop' will be a bad thing...and the opposition view point?.... simply that the 'backstop' is a bad thing.

Donald Trump does have some mad ideas....but then as Salvador Dali once said, 'the only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad'....buy Greenland!

No. Sell Northern Ireland to the EU. Let Donald Tusk, the President of the European Council have it for £1 (no, we won't negotiate)...that will save us, the UK taxpayer, £10.8 billion a year in subsidy payment to Stormont, leaving the EU to manage its own border arrangements.

Portraits of the Queen that were taken down to avoid offending republicans will be put back on display in government buildings in Belfast after the new Northern Ireland secretary ordered a review into their removal....

Review...does this mean we will get our £10,000 compensation back from the senior civil servant who allegedly claimed under human rights legislation that it was unfair for him to have to work in a location in which he could be offended by the portraits.

It's a good job that Lucien Freud's work is safely locked away in the Royal Collection or the compensation handed over to the distraught individual would have been thousands of pounds more....

Just over 2000 supporters, including 35 fans from Lancashire, enjoyed a pretty competitive opening fixture at the Recreation Ground last Saturday.

Fylde are one of the favourites to be promoted from the National League this season, having reached the play-off final back in May.

Aldershot played like the 'new team' that they are, and Fylde played like the 'big team' that they are.

Big beat new...just; and what looked on paper to be a difficult opening three games for the Shots, when the fixtures were released back in July ...Fylde, Woking (A) and Solihull (A)...is now one third of the way to being a difficult start to the season in reality.

Kuwait is a long way away

Not long after moving to Wales from London, and just a few years after the First Gulf War, I travelled out to Kuwait.

'Hi there Aled. Good trip. Did you travel down from Anglesey this morning?' I enquired as we made our way through the terminal building at Heathrow. We had met just the once before; a short planning meeting held in the depth of mid-Wales. But I could feel we were both thinking the same thing…..'Kuwait was a long way to go to give some lectures to the Ministry of Sport.

Check-in, baggage security checks, body search, more checks, more searches. 'Certainly no risks were being taken here.' I kept the thought to myself.

'Exits left. Right.' The Flight attendant was in full flow. 'Oxygen above', with just a hint of body armour under the blouse.

The plane quickly climbed into the clear blue sky, leaving London far behind. At 35,000 feet, just above Paris, and with my hearing restored, I turned to Aled. 'You like soccer then. So Rugby isn't your religion. What team do you support?' It's bound to be Bangor City, I thought to myself. European Cup Winners Cup 1962, against Napoli. 'Sorry Aled, who did you say? Wolves?' 'Yes, Wolverhampton Wanderers', came the reply without the faintest hint of a Brummie accent. 'Mmmm….and your best memory?' Aled's features lit up with the brilliance of the Molyneux floodlights. 'The European nights. Stan Cullis. Billy Wright. Great adventures.' 'Yes, I'm sure the ground must have rocked with the excitement and passion that Red Star and Barcelona generated.' I was so reassuring with my agreement.

'And your worst memory?' 'Oh easy.' Aled's response was instant and the recall clearly vivid. '1987, the 4th Division play-off final. We had beaten Aldershot at home and away in the League…finishing nine points clear of them at the end of the season. Then quite unbelievably we lost two nil away and one nil at Molyneux. It was desperate….so disappointing'.

'So what team do you support?' Aled innocently enquired.

I smiled and settled back into my seat. Kuwait was a pleasantly long flight!

Early season 'Conference Watch' 1/9/12

Newport County are top of the Football Conference after beating Hereford Utd 2v0 in front of a crowd of 4365 at Rodney Parade on Tuesday night.

The County moved from Spytty Park to Rodney Parade in the close season - perhaps the athletic track was not to their liking....but the Newport Stadium had been their home following a return from ‘exile’ in 1994 – and a fledgling Aldershot Town beat them at the 'Stadium' in Sept '94 in the 1st Qual Rd of the FA Trophy.

Rodney Parade is home to the Newport Gwent Dragons and Newport Rugby Club.....it is quite possible that the pitch will become pretty poor by Christmas....but just for now everything is fine in south Wales as The County have won five from five……Ex-Shots star Andy Sandell scored Newport's first goal against Hereford after 75 mins!

Football is back......18/8/12

All the way from Bury St Edmunds.....

Everyone loved the immaculate pitches at England’s training camp in Poland thanks to Sports Turf Research Institute’s (STRI) remarkable transformation of Hutnik Nowa Huta FC facilities ahead of Euro 2012.

Eight months ago the Kraków club’s pitches were worn and muddy. The FA tasked STRI with creating a world-class surface for the England team to train on that would also leave a lasting legacy for Hutnik.

Despite Poland’s coldest winter for 40 years the pitch was delivered on time using the cool soil temperature germination characteristics found in seed supplied by Barenbrug from Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk……

In 1966 we had Geoff Hurst and Bobby Moore…….unfortunately 2012 will be remembered for no more than simply the impact made by seventy-five bags of grass seed from the Rougham Industrial Estate.

The final curtain......

Saturday 5th May and the Shots secured a point at Gresty Road, Crewe in a pulsating end of season game.

The 2v2 result enough to see the Railwaymen into the play-offs and Aldershot Town placed 11th in League 2.

It's been a funny old season....a few highs....plenty of lows....optimism followed by pessimism....but ending, well feeling pretty good.

In my first year at the Rec 1960/61 we finished 10th in Division 4 (L2)....like very comfortable slippers the Shots will never let me down.

Have a great summer.......

League 2 final days.....

The Shots could only manage to draw with Rotherham United (2v2) last Saturday in one of the best games seen at the Rec this season......Steve Evans and his assistant were typically 'ugly', but the Millers were a strong side and I think one to watch for next season.

The final play-off place should be resolved by our performance at Gresty Road, Crewe on Saturday..... Oxford will be praying that Deano has the lads fired up.

Macclesfield have been relegated..... and Hereford need a miracle to save themselves, sending Barnet back down to the Conference.

More cannon fodder.....

Prime Minister David Cameron has been very busy in recent weeks with his personal security plans….as the recently exposed rich seam of cannon fodder confirms.

Theresa May was not too difficult to find as she has always displayed a natural and flawless tendency to be useless but effectively persistent…..but now the Culture Secretary has put his career path in the way of the ravenous ‘hunt’.

And I fear it could soon prove to be a bit painful for poor old Jeremy as the hounds do appear to be closing in…..so was the performance of the Permanent Secretary in the Department of Culture, Media and Sport a portent for a call to the travel agent in search of an early summer holiday?

Jonathan Andrew de Sievrac Stephens has a very long name, but he is certainly not one to stand out in a crowd…in fact he wouldn’t be a feature in a room by
himself…..

If yesterday’s events in front of the Public Accounts Committee confirmed anything, it was that Jonathan will be overlooked by the ‘hunt’ but for poor Jezza, it’s not looking good….....

Aldershot Town 1 v 1 Dagenham and Redbridge

The Shots secured a point in a pretty dismal affair that was brightened up at around 4.35 by Neptune Collonges winning the Grand National......and for just a few hours my 2012/13 season ticket had been purchased courtesy of Eden Bookmakers, Hartley Wintney.

What followed was of course my big mistake.....on getting home to Wales I told my wife that her horse Giles Cross had been pulled up, but mine had come home at 33/1......

Up until my moment of madness I hadn't seen the Vet's bill, the farrier account.....

14 April 2012

Conference watch.......8/4/12

It looks like Fleetwood will secure their promotion to the Football League in the next couple of weeks, as Wrexham's form has fallen away disasterously over the last few months.....their early season promise is now no more than a distant memory.

The play-offs will be the usual tense affair with Kiddermister and Mansfield perhaps the teams to watch.....

Oh, and spare a thought for the supporters of Luton Town......another Conference season to look forward to?.....Ebbsfleet, Tamworth, Barrow, Braintree.....all great trips on a cold and wet Tuesday night in January.

Catch up......

27/3/12 Aldershot Town 1 v 0 Bristol Rovers....and the Recreation Ground welcomed back 27 former players to mark the 20th anniversary of the demise of Aldershot FC. Some great memories lined up in the centre circle at half-time......

31/3/12 Shrewsbury Town 1 v 1 Aldershot Town.....it could and perhaps should have been the first home defeat of the season for the Shrews.

6/4/12 Aldershot Town 1 v 2 Port Vale.....just a week after the excellent performance at Shrewsbury the Shots let themselves down on Good Friday, producing no more than a pretty dismal performance against an organised Vale.

''I nutted two Tories''

A Labour MP has been spared prison after admitting to a drunken brawl in a House of Commons bar.

Eric Joyce admitted four charges of assault.

The MP shouted 'You can't touch me, I'm an MP!' as he was arrested.

Joyce was fined £3,000 and ordered to pay £1,400 to victims at Westminster Magistrates' Court.

Eric Joyce also received a twelve-month community order, was banned from entering pubs for three months, and given a weekend curfew…..not good news for our economic recovery.

But Eric has said he will not resign as an MP before the next election in 2015…..ok Eric, understood….perhaps the sack would work!

League 2 Pub Watch - Northampton

Not much to choose from in the out of town location that is home to 'The Cobblers'. The sterile and featureless environment no doubt the fault of clever planners. And the brash, loud pub......was it the Hungry Horse or The Sixfields....I really don't care.....no more than a machine designed to destroy the senses.

The Last Word:

Now I have no real grudge with Northampton Town....but I do hope they get relegated because I don't want to have to return to The Sixfields....too many children...... Real Ale that was too cold......and just too much noise blaring from wall to wall TVs.

League 2 Pub Watch - Torquay

'Can I top you up Dave.....'

David Cameron has just declared war on booze Britain during a visit to a hospital.

The Prime Minister pledged to tackle the growing ‘scandal’ of alcohol-fuelled disorder when he met doctors, nurses, paramedics and local police………

Then oops…..Labour MP Eric Joyce finds himself suspended from the party following allegations of an assault in the House of Commons bar on Wednesday night (22/2).

According to reports, Conservative MP Stuart Andrew was head-butted and punched in the incident which happened in the Strangers Bar, a Commons watering hole reserved for MPs and their guests.

Another glass of Pic St Loup, Dave….

Conference watch.......07/01/12

With only 20 games to go to the end of the season the automatic promotion spot looks to be heading to The Racecourse, Wrexham or Highbury, Fleetwood Town. A win on Tuesday night, at home to Barrow, will see the ‘Cod Army’ move to the top of the table, a point clear of Wrexham.

Two of the remaining play-off places should be filled by Luton and York with the final spot going to either Kidderminster or Cambridge…..although Grimsby have shown some good form of late and might just make the cut.

At the bottom Bath, Hayes, Kettering and Alfreton all look doomed with Newport, Stockport and Lincoln perhaps hoping that those around them will continue to falter.

And finally will Darlington survive their financial mess and exit Administration?…..it doesn’t look good.

Christmas goodwill......24/12/11

Police have recommended that the Energy Secretary, Chris Huhne and his estranged wife be charged over claims that he dodged a speeding penalty, The Times reported today.

March 12 2003, Chris Huhne’s car is caught speeding on the M11 in Essex…….May 8 2011, a somewhat bitter and 'former' wife, Vicky Pryce tells The Times that someone else took the points….ouch!

And earlier this month Chris told Sky News: “I would love to see this cleared up as soon as possible. I want the Crown Prosecution Service obviously to get to the bottom of this”.

I would give it a few months before you book your summer holiday Chris……..

Home grown talent......

From our first season in the Football League (1932/3) to our demise in 1992, excluding the Wartime League, nearly 550 different players pulled on the famous red and blue shirt of Aldershot.

My wife reasons that the following disappointing fact can be attributed quite simply to 'the fault of the Army'......a few years in the Military Town and then Aden or Malaya....the Falklands or .....Colchester.

But it is somewhat sad to record that in 60 years of history only 8 Aldershot born players represented the Shots....but 20 players escaped the grime of south and north Wales to play at the Recreation Ground.

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson offered a controversial opinion on those who went on strike yesterday on BBC1's The One Show:

"I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families."

Clarkson attended Hill House School, Doncaster and later Repton School. By his own account, he was expelled from Repton for “drinking, smoking and generally making a nuisance of himself”.

Now that does surprise me……no, not the bit about being expelled, but the fact that he went to such a fine school, even if he did leave before the ‘final whistle’.

My wife doesn’t like him and I guess this recent outburst only serves to confirm that she is right….again.

Clarkson is simply an arrogant oaf who should be removed from our television screens with immediate effect.

Catch up.......

Beating Maidenhead at home in the FA Cup round one replay was never going to be difficult…..and a 2v0 victory was duly delivered leaving the Shots to look forward to a long awaited return to Hillsborough in round two.

Then on Saturday 26th November we suffered defeat at the hands of Paolo Di Canio’s Swindon Town in a match that showed just how poor football in League 2 can be…..we were awful and Swindon terrible. Terrible won 2v0. And I won’t mention the extortionate admission charge.....

Perhaps I will…….£25 is just a bit steep Swindon, you lost your place in the Premier League in 1994 and you should think about reducing your admission charges in line with the terrible standard of football we all suffered last week…....

I could have had a better start to the week…..even the coffee machine spluttered when Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, Ed Balls was interviewed on Radio 4…..smugly proclaiming how the Government has got it’s economic strategy all wrong.

Well Ed you could be right. Certainly your background suggests that I should listen to you.

Educated at Oxford University, Ed gained a first in Philosophy, Politics and Economics. Then he was off to Harvard, where he was a Kennedy Scholar, he specialised in Economics.

Balls worked as a leader writer for the Financial Times and was eventually elected to Parliament in 2005.

Ah yes, and Ed was an economic adviser to former Prime Minister Gordon Brown from 1994……..

I wonder if he ever took his holidays in Greece and Italy and Portugal and Spain and Ireland........

Nice work if you can get it.....

It looks like the disgraced peer Baroness Uddin will be back to work next April.

Good news for us all I suppose as to date she hasn’t paid back a penny of the £125,000 she was fined for cheating on her expenses when serving on the Labour benches.

With a tax-free attendance allowance of £300 a day she could pay off her fine in three years……I know it’s our money but give her a break…the empty flat in Maidstone could quite easily have been her main home……it just needed a bit of furniture!

Sir Alex watch......

Now I wonder why it took our club just over two weeks to determine the ticket arrangements for the forthcoming game with Manchester United? Surely it wasn't because United are fed up with ‘little clubs’ trying to make profit from their visit……by increasing the cost of admission?

The somewhat convoluted requirement to buy a Burton Albion ticket as well as one for the Carling Cup will clearly boost our income, but it could also suggest that all may not be as it seems.....

I’ll have a word with Sir Alex on the night…..I'm sure he will offer an opinion!

Accrington Stanley 3 v 2 Aldershot Town.... 1/10/11

It was the third hottest day of the year....and that was about the only thing that was exceptional....the rest was simply 'business as usual'.

Aldershot played out most of the first half with a fluency that was unfortunately absent in the second.

2v1 up at the interval and on track for the 'big' win that manager Dean Holdsworth has promised us all....two sloppy bits of defending and the points were lost.

I guess we will have to wait for Manchester United, in a few weeks time, before we see the 'big........'

But for now, a win at home to Macclesfield on Saturday would be good Deano.....

Carlos Alberto Martinez

Yes, the man who currently trades under the name of Carlos Teves, after he took his mother’s maiden name during a dispute between Boca Juniors and All Boys in Argentina, is up to his old tricks again.

It seems he wants to move…….make some more money……so he has decided to stop running around. I know, £250,000 a week doesn’t go very far these days.

Stick him in the reserves. Hold him to the remaining £32 million contract. Let him get fat and destroy his future value…..it will save you, Manchester City, in the long run.

And Newcastle United wrote off £5 million to £10 million when they let Joey Barton leave because he was too much bother.

The next Teves is already running around the streets of Buenos Aires or Barking……so take a firm line now City and do the Premiership a favour……mind you, do I really care?

Alternative conference watch........30/9/11

I knew the conference season had started when I couldn’t find a decent hotel in Llandudno a few weeks ago. I was in north Wales on business…..Plaid Cymru had bagged all of the best beds.

As for the rest, well it’s been pretty dire…..although the recent Labour Party conference probably did serve to prove that political researcher, Ed Miliband, will struggle to keep hold of power through to the next election.

I wonder if the new look Yvette Cooper will have the ‘Balls’ to challenge him…..worth watching I think.

Conference watch......

Bristol Rovers play at the Memorial Ground in Horfield, a suburb of the City of Bristol.

The Memorial Ground was built in 1921 for Bristol Rugby Club in memory of the rugby union players of the city who died in World War I, and rededicated to also commemorate the dead of World War II.

In 1996, the ground became home to Bristol Rovers.

Near to the stadium is The Wellington, taken over and completely refurbished by Bath Ales back in 2002, this large roadside brick-built pub is a pleasant 'feeding ground' for both home and away supporters…. with the emphasis on simplicity, real ale and good food.

Sir Alex......

I think Sir Alex and I have a few things in common….

We both go to a quite a few football matches every year and like Sir Alex, I recognise that the Languedoc region produces some very fine red wines….. my favourite is Pic St Loup, some 20km inland from Montpellier in the South of France.

Last week Sir Alex Ferguson accepted, when questioned by an ITV journalist, that Wayne Rooney could be compared favourably with Pele.

So here is my judgement: Wayne is an exciting player…..but it will take a few years of sustained achievement before he can be ranked alongside Best, Charlton and Law…..Moore, Charles and Eusebio.

And I have a sneaking feeling that Pele’s first World Cup goal for Brazil in 1958, scored against Wales when he was aged just 17, followed by a hat-trick in the semi-final against France and two more in the final win against the Swedish hosts; winning two more World Cups; scoring 1281 goals in 1363 matches and of course staying loyal to Santos for 17 years…..will always keep Edison Arantes do Nascimento way ahead of the rest.

Loyalty is such a confusing subject......

Asamoah Gyan is I believe a Ghana international who cash-strapped Sunderland purchased from Rennes last summer for a club-record fee of £13m.

Now I have no idea if he is any good….but the Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi clearly thinks he has what it takes, because he has financed a £6m loan deal to take the player to the United Arab Emirates where he will turn out for Al-Ain FC.

Oh yes, and the Roker Park, sorry Stadium of Light, manager Steve Bruce isn’t happy…..’’I had a conversation with him 48 hours ago and he assured me, he shook my hand, that he wanted to be a Sunderland player…..within a few hours it seems things have changed,’’ Bruce said on Saturday. ‘’Football leaves a bad taste in your mouth sometimes……’’

Funny thing loyalty....so I guess Brucie simply forgot about the day in October 2001 when he said: ’’All the speculation surrounding Birmingham has been off-putting because it’s detracted from the players and what they have achieved. I could have done without it. I’m extremely happy at Selhurst Park. I want to manage in the Premiership and I’d love to take Crystal Palace there. End of story’’.

Ooops, two days later Steve walked out on Crystal Palace and joined…..Birmingham City.

Conference watch...3/9/11

Despite Fleetwood Town’s big spending….including the signing of Jamie Vardie, who arrived at the ‘Cod Army’ from FC Halifax in a £100,000 deal two weeks ago…they are eight points adrift of the early season pace setters, Wrexham and the 'surprise package', Gateshead.

York continue to be the ‘Arsenal of the Conference’…..just like the ‘Gunners’ they haven’t won anything and aren’t going anywhere….

The top of the table sees former League clubs Kidderminster, Mansfield, Cambridge and Darlington in close order with Luton yet to find any decent form away from home.

Lincoln are finding their new status uncomfortable and Grimsby, I fear, could be heading towards obscurity…..…

Dean Holdsworth is superstitious....

Look Deano... so am I……if I wasn’t, why on earth do I wear my ‘bobble-hat’ to all League and Cup games, park in the same spot every week…..and ......!

But please, we shouldn’t be playing in our away strip at home…..

Our current red and blue kit is, I admit, awful……and the all-white strip is smart, but it was our effort on the night that won us the match at West Ham and it was our superior desire that turned Carlisle over. Pace, tenacity, commitment, confidence, desire would always appear on my team sheet before superstition.

When we beat Aston Villa in 1964 we secured the famous 3rd round FA Cup replay victory in borrowed Southampton FC shirts. At the time, just like last night, it didn’t really matter…..we left The Rec shaking with excitement.

But as I get older and ‘look back' over my thousands of footballing memories it is the image of Aldershot, dressed in red and blue, that I want to call up and not one of the ‘Saints’ or Real Madrid.