It should hurt.....

It’s more than fifty years ago but ‘my knees (still) hurt Mum’.

I don’t suppose for one minute, that three year old children walk from Cove to Farnborough today. In fact I’m not sure that youngsters walk anywhere today. The roads are so busy. The cars so fast. The drivers more concerned with the latest incoming text message than the small child escaping the security of their mother’s hand.

But in 1956 the walk to Farnborough was just something that Mum and I did every Wednesday afternoon.

We passed Tower Hill Primary School, with just a glance to see if my ‘big brother’ was outside playing football. Then onwards through the RAF houses, across Pinehurst Avenue and into RAF Alley. In those days Farnborough Road could be crossed without too much of a second look. Mum pretty confident that the odd car and lorry would stop and that the Rag-and-bone man would never let his horse run me over.

Now at this point we could choose…was it to be Boundary Road or Albert Road or Church Road. They all took us to Granny’s house, which backed onto King George’s Field.

Church Road was always my favourite because, half way down, the ‘circle’ allowed me to do just that. Run around in a big circle. Pretty pointless and Mum always said, ‘slow down you’ll fall over’.

Looking back I guess the fall was predictable.

But on this occasion Mum didn’t see the fall. She was unaware of my pain.

And then the realisation that my knees were cut and bleeding profusely. My hands, oh did they hurt. Grazed and sore, they broke my fall, saving my head from injury and the likelihood of a bus trip to hospital in Aldershot.

After a minute or so I let out a cry…’ my knees hurt Mum’.

Diving is not an exact science, just ask Uefa. But 56 years on from my own realisation that when you trip you put your hands down not up…..you scream when you are cut and not when you are ‘tickled’, Dr Paul Morris, of the University of Portsmouth has perfected the art of detecting when a ‘foul’ is not a foul, but a dive.


In short his ‘Archer’s Bow’ describes, both arms up in the air to gain attention, chest thrust out, legs bent at the knee.

First published by A Shot from Wales 18 September 2009

Sadly it would seem that Ashley Young (Manchester Utd) has read my blog....and as a result he has perfected the Church Road (circle) dive.