Out with the old.....

‘Few teams in the world can match Newcastle for crowd size, transfer budget and wages’.

‘Newcastle have to change managers so often because quite simply they rarely pick the right bugger in the first place’.

Quote: Billy Furious, The Sunday Times, 30th Dec 2007.

As I drive down to the Recreation Ground, to watch Aldershot Town, I often wonder about the world that these big club supporters live in. And what is it, that makes an average Premiership side a ‘Big Club’?

Population…I guess.

Yes, Newcastle is a big place. So, like ‘we’ would consider ourselves to be ‘big’ and Histon small…..and Forest Green likewise (find FGR FC on a map), Newcastle has to be bigger than the rest, surely?

But a quick check of the latest Census data will show that Newcastle is smaller than Nottingham and much smaller than loads of other places, including the London Borough of Croydon…..(Croydon FC are currently in the Premier division of the Kent League).

Perhaps then we should look at the honours won over the years to measure the size of a club.

And would recent memory count for more than the results obtained from a trip to the Library, and access to the social history collection?

Well, a quick look around the Newcastle City Library will confirm that Newcastle United has won the League Title on four occasions and the FA Cup six times….with the last win at Wembley being in 1955. Of course some fans will remember the victory in the Inter Cities Fairs Cup in 1969 ( a bit like the UEFA Cup today). But does this make Newcastle a ‘sleeping giant’ or a dead one?

Huddersfield Town have won the League Title four times and the FA Cup once…...and Nottingham Forest, the League in 1978 followed by the European Cup, under Brian Clough, in 1979 and 1980. But then who did Forest play on Saturday?

Div 1 Gillingham 3 v 0 Notts Forest…….

In the virtual world of Billy Furious, the failure to deliver the League Title followed by Champions League success can be attributed to the picking of the ‘(wrong) bugger in the first place’.

Funny thing then that Aston Villa won the European Cup with Tony Barton in charge in 1982.…Tony sadly died in 1993, aged only 56.

Yes, funny that the Villa could rise to the summit of European soccer with an inexperienced manager at the helm and yet Newcastle failed to deliver when, between Sept 2nd 1999 and 30th August 2004, they had Sir Bobby Robson in charge.

Shankly, Paisley, Clough, Robson and Ferguson….five great post war British managers.

And one final thing Mr Furious…..to imply that Bolton Wanderers have not been successful falls somewhat short of my assessment. Just cast your mind back ‘young man’ to 1987. The first season of the play-offs.

Bolton were relegated to Division Four after losing, over two legs, to Aldershot FC….who then went on to consign Wolves to a second season in the basement, with a 3v0 aggregate win in the Final.

Yes I guess Aldershot Town, top of the Blue Square Premier, after going bust in 1992 will do for me…..and Bolton in the last 32 of the UEFA Cup, will do for the Reebok faithful.

So as ‘Big Sam’ considers pastures warmer, my new year message to supporters of 'Big clubs' is….

……work a bit harder to get Northern Rock out of my debt and find those missing 'personal records'!



Aldershot Town lost narrowly to Grays Athletic on Saturday, in a game that was never pretty.

After a comfortable start, the game started to slip away from the Shots when Rhys Day missed from the ‘spot’ and Scott Davies was sent off for a rash challenge.

Two pretty soft goals conceded, a spirited second half fight back, a 65th minute goal from Jonny Dixon….. a late miss…..no points and a young player left to consider the impact that his loss of control had on the result.

I hope he will learn…..and that the team will respond positively. Gary Waddock has much to do if Woking are to be beaten on New Year's Day.

Best wishes for the New Year, to all Blue Square Premier players, management and supporters.

Boxing Day.....

Boxing Day arrived, and my thoughts turned to Kingfield, Woking.

Yes, thoughts…..I had been grounded by mutual consent. Our daughter was travelling back from Twickenham for lunch and of course ‘I will be at home to greet her’, I declared to my wife, with a smile that not even Hazel Blears could better for sincerity.

And then at midday, just as the Shots were kicking off, the suffocating blanket of cloud that had settled above our mountain overnight lifted, and with it my spirits…..

At 1205hrs the phone rang….Didier a friend of more than 30 years called from a village just outside of Nimes. A gentle distraction from the prospect of not being at the game…..I’m not a good stay away supporter. It is why I travel the length and breadth of the country every week. I find it so uncomfortable when subjected to 90 minutes of reliance on text messages and the odd picture message from my brothers.

1v0 Shots….Hudson 78 minutes……

As 2000 travelling Shots fans, in a crowd of 4356, filed joyfully out of Kingfield I settled back into my chair and looked out across the distant Bristol Channel.

I raised my glass…..


‘The lads, we are top of the league’….played 23, won 18, drawn 1, lost 4.….55 points.

Emeralds and Leprechauns

I shut my office at 1100hrs Friday. And for the first time in over 30 years decided against a staff party. Perhaps it’s a sign of getting old, but as I walked back into Cardiff for a couple of pints with friends, all I could see was excess and tomorrows headache.

But my health conscious approach didn’t extend to my wife and her colleagues….who partied long into the night, in a hotel not far from our home.

My lunchtime self-control transformed seamlessly into a late night taxi.

At 1.15am a ‘happy’ wife exclaimed…..’what about Tesco’s!’. I initially took the outpouring to be a statement and not a question. But I soon realised my wife had hatched a fantastic plan….Christmas food shopping at 1.30am. What a great idea?

Now, I don’t do shopping in daylight hours, so the prospect of walking around a superstore in the early hours filled me with trepidation. But then I looked across to my ‘happy’ wife. Evening gown, high heels, all set off with emerald and diamond earrings. Yes, perhaps shopping could be fun…..

I have to say I was impressed….all of the store full of workers. Busily filling shelves for the expected big invasion on Saturday. Reindeers doing the veg….Santas, the toys and games….Snowmen, the freezer cabinets and Leprechauns, the wines and spirits. I put it all down to years of planning.

Hayes last Saturday in the FA Trophy turned out to be a thoroughly professional demolition of a team who must have started the day thinking….‘yes we can surprise them. They won’t fancy the cold and soulless atmosphere,’

Well sorry Hayes, but this Aldershot Town team is fit, keen and mean. Well organised and not prepared to give anything less than the appropriate effort. On Saturday it was of course no more than 85%…and for that, Hayes should be thankful.

Oxford United today, in some cup that doesn’t register on my radar, is for me, a game to miss. My car needs a rest and so do I.

Best wishes to all football followers, Worldwide…..

And to the players and management of Aldershot Town FC….thank you for bringing so much joy back to the Rec.

I'm a miserable shopper......

Like Adelie penguins approaching the edge of the ice shelf, we shuffled, as one, towards the check-out. Arms stretched to the extreme. Baskets full of toys and games.

Michael. Is he two or three? And Peter a year older, surely. Matthew…..does he really like science? And he must be six now? Children these days seem to know so much more...or do they?.

I know my brothers and sister emailed lists. Page after page of what everyone wanted. From Leslie Thomas to Thomas the Tank Engine. Spitfires to Wings. So much I could have bought.

But where would be the fun in that. Who ever remembers the Uncle that purchased the present you really wanted?

No, it is the miniature Swiss Cuckoo Clock bought, after too many glasses of red wine, at 3.30pm on Christmas Eve 35 years ago, just as the shops were about to close, that still holds pride of place in my sister’s kitchen. Sindy…..what four year old girl would want a Sindy doll when you could have a miniature Swiss Cuckoo Clock?

The Penguins moved forward remorselessly. And as I approached the tills, no sound of cash. ‘Plastic’ the miserable curse of Christmas.

Yes, ‘I’m a miserable shopper...get me out of here!’

But sadly for many, it will be ‘help’, miserable in January because they can’t pay the Visa bill.

The season of goodwill to all approaches……..but for you Gordon….not just yet. You don’t help yourself. Your failure to get to the Treaty signing didn’t go unnoticed. Was it 26 Heads of Government and 27 Foreign Ministers who managed to clear their diaries to get to Lisbon? So was it the usual cock up or was it a clever plan?

Mmmmm, Gordon clever plan? New Labour cock up?

Well that smug looking David Cameron would certainly put it down to cock up. Every week he cries ‘pathetic’ at Prime Minister's questions. Now just a brief word of advice David….we can all see that the Government is pathetic. What would be really clever, is if you could actually deliver a substantive package of proposals that increase the pressure on the hapless PM. Yes, sooner not later would be good. Or the world may just conclude that you are more fluff than substance.

Ah, but ‘Baldrick’ what a star.

I always thought he had the best lines in Blackadder. The short but superbly observed phrase. The look….the perfect timing. ‘Oh, there’s a nasty splinter on that ladder, Sir! A bloke could hurt himself on that.’ - Blackadder Goes Forth - Goodbyeee.

Yes, Vince Cable has developed a well observed approach to remind the Government that splinters can be very dangerous…..

Stafford Rangers last Saturday…4v3.….top of the League and seven points clear. Not the most convincing of performances but then I never thought we would do anything other than win. Torquay then closed the gap with a 2v1 win at Farsley. And so we go into a two weekend break from league action four points clear at the top of the Blue Square Premier….who would have predicted that at the start of the season?

Yes, as we all tuck into our Christmas Day feast we will raise our glasses…..

‘The Lads. We are top of the League’.

It's regrettable.....

‘We shouldn’t be on the beach in Seaton Carew. He’s much more likely to be on a beach in Malaga.’

Yes, on March 22nd 2002 the sardonic Police Sergeant could see the exit strategy as clearly as the run down houses in the former fishing village, battered by the cruel north east wind, that John Darwin had left far behind.

Just not quite right with Malaga, as it would seem John has spent much of the last five years in Panama.

Now canoeing has become the new sport for New Labour.

Gordon received £183,052 from public funds to help party officials to understand new funding rules shortly before New Labour began accepting secret donations. Clearly Gordon should have put his prudence to one side and asked for £200,000.…to buy the ‘paddles’ as well.

So many New Labour canoeists have got into difficulty through Gordon’s lack of vision.

‘I didn’t mean to keep the donations secret’.

‘I didn’t know my actions were dodgy’.

‘It’s regrettable…..’

Now I like that defence…paddle off into the North Sea. Go missing for five years. Claim on the Life Insurance, because the Coroner says you are ‘dead‘. Write off your debts. Come back to life.

Yes. Regrettable that would be a good defence.

Sunday night football is not for me…..despite winning 4v0 at Salisbury .

The goals brilliant and the performance, one that was hallmarked ‘potential Champions’.

I was asked just before the game if I thought we would win. I replied, ‘We are top of the League. They are mid table…..what do you think.’ And that is exactly how we played……

Then the ‘pitch invasion’ by the ‘Blue Square Four’…..I guess the motivation for the breach of law quite obvious.

Low intellect mixed with live television and wrapped up in a free gift at half time.

I do hate televised football…..3pm Saturday is ok with me.

Living in the shadows....

I’m sure it’s tough having to live in the shadow of the ‘boss’ for year after year. And no doubt frustrating too.

The team plays well, results exceed expectation, the fans chant ‘give us a wave’. Newspapers demand opinion from the ‘boss’.

But everyone on the training ground knows that the achievements have been the result of a team effort. In fact the ‘boss’ has had little to do with it. He is no more than a ‘public face’. A man dressed only for the post match interview.

‘Track suit, boss.’ ‘Is it Savile Row?’

And then when the opportunity comes around, of course it makes sense to promote from within. After all Liverpool went from the great Bill Shankly (59-74) to Bob Paisley (74-83) to Joe Fagan (83-85) . That worked ok. Yes, why not the return of the ‘boot room’? Look back. Feed on tradition. Return to the good old days. That will work.

Bolton Wanderers tried. Big Sam to Little Sammy.

I guess that wasn’t a great success.

And then England FC tried. Sven to Steve.

That was never going to be a good plan.

But Tony to Gordon…………great for the political sketch writer. Not so good for the rest of us.

I know the loss of a few personal records is an ‘inconvenience’ Gordon. And Northern Rock? Well, my first impression of Gordon’s stewardship was favourable. In fact I liked his post calamity recovery strategy. Get the story off the front pages with the loss of two CDs then keep it buried with a few dodgy donations. Clever.

Or was it?

Keeping David Abrahams for a rainy day might have looked good on paper, but I’m sorry Gordon, it doesn’t look quite so good in the Papers.

I have no doubt that succession planning is brilliant in the Rushmoor Borough Council Concessionary Bus Passes Department, but for HM Government, England FC and Bolton Wanderers FC the inevitable failure of this approach to the appointment of a Leader, is a painful lesson.

Well it is unless your name is Richard Branson….

Oh and, Your Royal Highness (Prince Charles). Don’t hold your breath mate…..your Mum will last another twenty years.

Back at the Recreation Ground, Aldershot, we have a maturing ‘boss’. A man showing imagination and control. He has transformed the organisation from one of chaos, the hallmark of the previous manager, to a body that exudes, drive….desire…discipline and determination.

And in Martin Kuhl…we now have the perfect ‘boot room’. But Chairman, don’t even think about succession planning.

A 3-2 victory over Grays Athletic last week secured top spot in the Blue Square Premier for another 10 days. And with Torquay losing in the FA Cup today the position is secure for another week.

But it will look so much better with a televised victory at Salisbury on Sunday, kick off 1915hrs.

Now when was the last time we kicked off at 1915hrs on a Sunday?

John Logie Baird was clearly no supporter of Dumbarton FC……